I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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