So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
