I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize
