somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
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