fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
