This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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