Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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