He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
