idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
