Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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