It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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