we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize