My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He keeps bees of course he's weird
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
