he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
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