People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize