No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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