Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
my liver is dry heaving
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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