then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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