all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
