I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
