i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize