weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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