that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
