after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Boobs speak an international language.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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