Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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