You really coming over, don't trick.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
