I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
