Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
