susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
