so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Randomize