i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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