I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
