Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
