oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Randomize