he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
