You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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