You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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