chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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