He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
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