Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I could fuck to npr.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
