Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Randomize
