she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
