well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Randomize
