he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize