He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
my shit smells like andre
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
