listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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