we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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