these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
