It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
we should paint friendship bongs
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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