youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
