I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
