Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Randomize
