I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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