we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
