if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
