FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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