Betty ford says i'm here all night
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
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