what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize