Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Semen is not good for contacts.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
