Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
