i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize