so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
FUCK WHALES
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
