I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
