Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
