I think i peed on brittanys purse
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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