k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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