after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize