..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
