i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
